Berserker
by Cypher
Summary: What exactly did Shinji feel when Eva01 went nuts and attacked the third Angel? (r/r)


BERSERKER  
  
By Cypher  
  
Pounding. It was pounding at his skull. Over and over. Shinji wanted to scream. The pain was  
  
unbearable. Then the energy broke through the cranium casing. He was wrong. THIS pain was unbearable! It was as if someone had shot him through the head! The cockpit was spinning. He was going to vomit. No, he needed to vomit! He lost his lunch, breakfast, and the previous days meals. He had never felt such pain before.  
  
He was faintly aware that Misato and the others were trying to contact him. He didn't care. He  
  
wanted the pain to end. Didn't matter how, just that it did.  
  
No.  
  
Another voice? Another consciousness? It couldn't be. The Evas weren't alive. It was something  
  
else. It had to be, right?  
  
Anger.  
  
He was angry. He was angry at his father for putting him there. He was angry at the creature  
  
before him, the one that had just punched a hole through his head.  
  
Survive.  
  
He had to survive. Something deep down, a primal urge buried in man from the time of the Stone  
  
Age. He had to fight back. He had to live!  
  
Revenge.  
  
He felt the other consciousness, or was it his own will and backbone? He couldn't tell. But he had to fight. He had to get back at the creature that had hurt him. He had to beat it to a pulp so it would never hurt another!  
  
The Eva came alive at the thought. Now he knew. There was indeed another consciousness. But  
  
he could investigate that later. He had to stop the Angel. It was a matter of life and death. Not just his  
  
own, but everyone around him. He wouldn't let it win. He couldn't!  
  
He and the Consciousness let out a roar, a warning to the Angel that they would have their revenge  
  
and protect those that needed it. They jumped on it and were thrown back. Then they ran forward in perfect unison. They came in contact with a field. He couldn't reach the Angel! He had to!  
  
Trust.  
  
Shinji hesitated. The Consciousness wanted his trust, was asking for him to trust it. If he did he  
  
could be unleashing a monster. If he didn't, he could end up dying. What should he do?  
  
Trust.  
  
Shinji glanced around. The city. The people. All their hopes rested on the fact that he had to win.  
  
He had to.  
  
Trust.  
  
Shinji did. He trusted it. The entire exchange took only moments. Nothing had changed. Then the  
  
Consciousness took over Shinji's mind, just for an instant. They, Shinji and Unit 01 in unison, held up their arm and regenerated it. Now they could do it. They had the ability and the strength. They formed their own field. The Angel's was weakening. They could do it. They could beat the Angel!  
  
Protect.  
  
Shinji agreed. They had to protect the city. But something nagged at the back of his mind. The  
  
Consciousness had wanted to protect him. Why? The Eva Consciousness had never met him before. Or  
  
had it? Now that the thought about it, it felt familiar. A feeling he hadn't felt since he was a young boy.  
  
The Angel's particle blast broke his thoughts. They had to destroy it. How? How could they destroy it?  
  
Release.  
  
Shinji frowned. He felt the Consciousness searching his mind for something, but what? His  
  
memories. Why those? Feelings, emotions. What was it looking for?  
  
Hate.  
  
Shinji narrowed his eyes at the Angel. That's it. It wanted to unleash his hatred upon the Angel. He agreed. He didn't care if it worked or not. His father abandoning him for some project, knowing he wasn't wanted, years of isolation all fed his hatred. He unleashed it. The Eva unleashed it's own hatred. It's anger at having Shinji threatened.  
  
Why would it care about him in particular? It never met him, right?  
  
They let out a roar and charged the beast. They twisted the Angel's arm until the bone broke through the skin, spilling blue blood over the pavement below. Then they kicked the Angel into a building. They rushed forward and slammed their shoulder into the creature, not slowing down. The building slid back with them until they could push the creature no further.  
  
They grabbed the tusks surrounding the red sphere. Shinji didn't know why, but the Eva's consciousness told him the Angel would die if the sphere was destroyed. The tusks easily gave way, exposing the ruby sphere while painting the ground with more blood. They pounded on the sphere, then grabbed part of a damaged building and brought it down on the creature.  
  
The sphere began to crack, and in reaction the Angel curled up and upon him. The Consciousness wrapped itself around Shinji, trying to protect him from the coming attack. Shinji recognized the feeling. The warm embrace, the comfort.  
  
Then it ended. The Angel had self-detonated and there was no need to protect him anymore. The  
  
Consciousness pulled away from his mind. Shinji could almost hear a person weeping in the back of his mind. It didn't want to leave. How odd.  
  
He blinked a few times. His heart was racing from the experience. What a strange feeling. Would  
  
that happen each time he piloted?  
  
Misato had finally made contact again. They were checking to see if he was alive. Of course he was, otherwise the Eva would have shut down.  
  
He tried to answer, but something outside caught his eye. Did the Angel survive? Impossible! He  
  
looked out to find the head of his Eva lying on the ground. He tensed when the brown skin bubbled up and a green eye formed. It was huge, and all four pupils focused their gazes upon him.  
  
Shinji screamed. 


End file.
